


You Got Inside Through a Hole in My Defenses

by WeirdItalianPlumber



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 12:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11463348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdItalianPlumber/pseuds/WeirdItalianPlumber
Summary: Prompt:Charlie is demisexual. This, coupled with him not being the most self-aware person around, has led him to unknowingly nursing a giant crush on Dee since high school. I'd love something that played with that idea - maybe something about the moment that leads to him finally figuring it out?Happy ending where they get together much prefered!





	You Got Inside Through a Hole in My Defenses

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SunnyRarePairs](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SunnyRarePairs) collection. 



> Title comes from Dance With You by Bowling for Soup  
> I know it doesn't really fit, but I'm terrible at coming up with them. And I just love the chorus of this song for these two.

“When’s Frank getting back?” Artemis whines to Charlie. “We’re supposed to go get it on at Burger King. Got a new idea I’m excited to try out.  Did he tell you? Those prudes at Wendy’s banned us. Guess they have no sexual imagination.” 

Charlie likes Artemis; she’s weird, and always has some sort of drugs on her, and she never judges him for his ideas or spelling. Sometimes though, okay every time, he wishes she wouldn’t talk about her and Frank’s sex stuff. He really didn’t need to know more details about his friends’ sex lives, Dennis already over shared enough, and the stuff Frank’s into is really weird and gross. He’s trying to block out her words, in case she decides to go into details, when he’s pulled back by a change in tone. Artemis sounds genuinely curious, “Whatcha got there, Charlie?”  

He glances up. Sharing his deepest thoughts with people made Charlie a little apprehensive; they usually got concerned and talked about getting him help, or called him a weirdo. He figures it can’t be stranger than anything Artemis has seen, plus the change in topic was somewhat welcomed. “It's my dreambook, I like to write down my dreams and plans.” 

“Let me see. I love interpreting people’s dreams, it’s a great look into their inner psyche,” Artemis says, reaching for the book, “Shit. I'd give my right tit to trip like this.” She pauses, flipping through the pages, “Say, you got a lot of birds in this thing.”  

“Yeah, well, it’s lawyer stuff y’know? I've been dreaming about them a lot lately.”   

“Some of these look like Sweet Dee. You guys spending a lot of time together?”   

“Yeah, I guess,” Charlie shrugs, “Mac and Dennis have their fancy new house and aren't at the bar so much. So, a lot of times it's just us there.”   

“Girl is all up in yo’ mindspace,” she muses before confirming, “You  _love_  that crazy bitch!”  

 “No, no. No. Not like that,” Charlie protests, “We're friends. Okay? I love the Waitress.”  

 “Dee’s a waitress.”  

 “Well, now you’re just twisting my words and making things weird. Besides, she’s not even any good at it.” 

Much to Charlie’s relief, they were disrupted by Frank bursting in holding a cardboard box, “Ready, Baby?” 

 “You know it, Frankie,” Artemis beams jumping up. She pauses, patting Charlie on the shoulder with affection. “You are pro-ject-ting, my friend. Trust me on this.” She bends down to give Frank a kiss, before winking at Charlie and sauntering out. 

\------- 

Charlie scoffs, reaching around the floor and grasping a bottle of some kind of liquid, he unscrews the cap and sniffs- definitely alcohol- and takes a drink. There was no way he felt anything more than friendship for Dee. Hell, he wasn’t sure if he even felt that some days. Artemis just thinks everybody wants to bang everybody. It didn’t mean anything that Dee would more frequently pop into his mind whenever he thought of sex; she was always around, and was the only girl he got along with. It was just something that happens.

Okay, yeah, he liked her more than Mac and Dennis seemed to; he didn't think she was as bad as the things they said.  _Maybe_ he did have a bit of a crush in high school, but that was before he met the Waitress. Then Dennis didn’t get mad when Charlie looked at her too long, or disagreed when they were insulting her, and Mac didn’t laugh when Charlie said something nice about her; liking the Waitress was easier, and probably more right anyway. 

Even now, they have fun together, him and Dee; whether it’s doing a scheme or just hanging out because they were the only two left. Even when Dee is being annoying, she’s still pretty cool. 

More and more thoughts of the ways and reasons he liked Dee were flooding his mind, and Charlie really wants to drink them away, but instead the bottle remains untouched on the coffee table, and somehow his feet are pulling him out the door and down the sidewalk. 

\------------------- 

Dee’s half asleep when she’s disturbed by a pounding on the door.  Rushing to answer it and stop the obnoxious noise, she yanks the door open. 

“What?!” 

Charlie stands in the hallway staring at her. “You look like a bird,” he states after a moment, then breaks into a broad smile.   

“Oh, goddammit, Charlie! You asshole. You show up here at three o-” Dee snarls before she’s cut off.   

“Birds are great.”  

“What are talking about, Charlie?” Dee sighs. He doesn’t seem drunk enough to be talking nonsense, and Mac and Dennis weren’t around to coerce him.  Actually, Dee thinks, they’d been getting along really well without so much influence from the others.  

“Artemis said that I was, like, in love with you. ‘Cause I’ve been dreaming about birds and shit. And, we call you a bird. And it’s like no way, she’s just Dee. We’re buddies and that’s it. But I realized, maybe she’s right. I like doing stuff with you. In a different way than when I’m around the guys. Sometimes I feel like maybe you’re my best friend…you really get me,” He’s rambling, words falling out almost faster than she can process them.  

 Charlie pauses, exhaling, and he speaks so calmly, almost relieved, “I had to tell you.” 

_Jesus Christ. It’s too late for this._ “Just get in here,” she hisses, grabbing Charlie by the arm and pulling him into her apartment.  

A guy showing up on her doorstep in the middle of the night, and declaring his love for her was something Dee had dreamt of. Except he’s not supposed to be drinking to admit his feelings. And he’s supposed to be suave and sexy, not standing there with a huge goofy grin. More importantly, she’s supposed to be wearing a flowy, elegant nightgown and look casually disheveled, not in faded and mismatched pajamas, with raccoon eyes from makeup she barely washed off.  

But Charlie’s here. And he’s looking at her like she’s the most beautiful person in the world, and Dee’s reminded of just how good and important he can make her feel. She’s struck with the desire to drag him into her bedroom and fuck him; to achieve that feeling of validation, to show affection the way she feels best- to reignite what they had before, but maybe it could actually be something. 

And, of course, he seems to be thinking the same thing. “Woah, Dee. Are you trying to bang me again? ‘Cause I’m kinda into it, but this is happening really fast.” 

“ _No_. I’m not discussing feelingswith you in my goddamn hallway. If you’re gonna have some  _big revelation_ , it’s going to be inside.”  

If this really was going to be… a thing.  Then she needs time to think about it, to not act hastily; they both did.  Resting her face in her palms for a moment, she breathes before looking up, “Just… can we just discuss this later?” Good things don’t happen to them, and she doesn’t want to ruin this balance they’ve finally achieved. 

Charlie nods as if he’s thinking the same thing, and she knows he understands. 

“Just go to sleep,” Dee groans, lightly pushing him towards the bedroom. 

“In here?” Charlie looks back, unsure. 

“Unless you plan on sleeping on the floor. I don’t see a lot of options.” She tries to sound irritated, to keep the well-constructed wall up, that way if he takes it all back it won’t hurt, and things won’t get weird and they can just laugh it off. She's been put down and cast off her whole life, but somehow being rejected by Charlie would sting the most. 

\----------- 

The first thing Charlie notices in the morning is that instead of waking up next to Frank snoring, Dee is right there, only inches away breathing softly, and it only takes seconds to remember a few hours earlier. His brain is telling him to run, save the embarrassment and awkwardness, pretend like it never happened, but he can’t. He has to stick it out and see where this goes; not acknowledging it would only make things weirder, right after everything was feeling normal again. There's a stronger desire to know what this means, to not blow an opportunity he’s apparently been waiting years for.  

Charlie watches her for a moment, observing alone, with no one around to cloud his judgment, or ridicule for watching contently. She looks pretty, but he’s always kind of thought that, though he's usually fought admitting it. Seeing Dee look so calm and relaxed, makes him believe last night even more, reinforcing his thoughts.  Instead of sneaking away, he shifts lightly hoping she’ll wake up, while trying to not be too obvious about it.  

Dee stirs, blinking awake, eyes widening upon realizing he’s there and Charlie can feel her tense.  

She remembers the last time they woke up like this, that sweet moment of contentment, hanging on the feeling of belonging before realizing why, and things got awkward. There were too many feelings that shouldn’t be, worries of everyone finding out and berating them more than usual; fear that there could actually be something there. 

They stare at each other for a moment. 

“Morning,” Charlie mumbles, nervousness setting in. 

“Hi,” she murmurs back. “So, um, last night…” Dee breaks the silence, unsure of how to continue.  But, she doesn’t have to.  

“I meant it. Really, I did.” 

“How long?”  

Charlie doesn’t need clarification of what she’s asking. “Uh, high school, I think.” 

“Oh.”  

Dee’s not sure what she expected; there was a time when she kind of felt that way, too. Charlie was so different from the guys she went for then, and honestly, now. But they would have fun together, making jokes and mocking Dennis for thinking he was cool, and Mac for thinking he was tough.

Then there were the times when she would go to the doctor, and would return to school with her back aching and Charlie would notice, and bring her weed and they would smoke it together.  Some days they would sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying the company, or Dee would talk about becoming a Broadway star, and Charlie would listen and never tell her that it was impossible; and Dee would listen to Charlie absentmindedly tap out songs on his knee, and talk about music, and maybe joining the band, if only his grades were good enough, and if people wouldn’t think he was a nerd. 

The exchange hangs in the air for a moment. 

 “C’mon, say something nice to me,” Charlie prods, lightly poking Dee’s shoulder, “I said my stuff. Now it’s your turn.” 

Trying to not look directly at him, she’ll confess, “You make me nervous, but in a good way. I feel good around you, I don’t have to worry or think about what to say. Like whatever I do is okay. Everything feels so right. And I never feel that way around anyone else. I think you might be my favorite person to be around.” 

“Then let’s leave, we’re  _good_  without the guys. We can start fresh. Open our own bar, be the bosses this time.” Charlie offers. 

The situation is so absurd, Dee almost laughs; he’s suggested they run away together before, after a close call with the mob.  And he’s suggesting it again, this time out of love? 

“No, Charlie. We can’t do that” she answers gently. 

“We can. You’ve got a car now. We’ll be gone before anyone even notices. I don’t need a lot, but you can bring your stuff. Clothes, make-up, whatever you want.” 

_Of course,_ Dee thinks, he considers her. Dee knows they can all be terrible people, have done things they shouldn’t, but there’s a part of Charlie that’s still good, still hopeful.  She doesn’t want that part of him to die, it’s her own unrealistic dreams that keep her going most days. “Our whole lives are here, and you can barely leave Philly.” 

Dee can see a flash of relief in his eyes, knowing he won’t have to make a huge change. They’re good together and things are calmer, but, she worries, how long can that actually last before it breaks and they kill each other. It’s a bad idea- this new alliance is still too fresh and fragile to risk, it needs to be handled cautiously. Staying is for the best, they both know, but that doesn’t quell the tinge of disappointment. 

“Then let’s just go for a day. We can go to the water park or Six Flags. Just ridin’ rides and eating ice cream. Do whatever we want, no pressure from anyone.” 

The idea is so tempting. Disappear for the day, leave those assholes with all the work, show them that she and Charlie can have their own thing; maybe then they’ll know what it feels like to be left out. Instead of answering, she places a hand on his cheek, the way she had the last time they felt safe with each other, lifting her head slightly and leaning in and kissing him; softly, testing the action, and Dee swears her heart does a flip.

 “We should do this more often,” Charlie grins. 

 “Yeah, we should,” Dee smiles back, “Now get out of my apartment. I’ll see you at the bar.” 

 Charlie stands and stretches. “Do you want to get breakfast? I could really go for some waffles.” 

“Sure. Sounds good.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to go with the bird lady/bird lawyer (& bird with teeth) thing.  
> There’s a Six Flags in New Jersey, that’s about an hour from Philadelphia.
> 
> There's a nice moment in the Sunny Self Help Book, where Charlie dictates one of his parts to Artemis and it goes: "Well, actually, I only said it, Artemis wrote it. Thanks Artemis." - "You're welcome, Charlie." - "You know, Artemis, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this writing thing now." - "You're definitely coming along, Charlie." And I love the idea of them getting along and having this friendship, and just had to use it. 
> 
> Takes place during the month Mac and Dennis were in the suburbs 
> 
> I couldn’t get them together in an official relationship in this, but I love the idea that they have this whole second life outside of the gang with an increasing number of rituals and traditions they have together.
> 
> I love the idea that Dee tells him to leave, but they both know that she doesn't **really** mean it.
> 
> The formatting looks like it's taking out spaces and mashing some words together on mobile? Sorry.


End file.
